Don't mess with my cream!

As you can tell, I’m so looking forward to the new year.  Why?  Cause I know something big is going to happen then.

Maybe I’ll get a new job, in a company that I’ve been aiming to get in for some time now.

Maybe I’ll finally get to go to Europe for a holiday.

Maybe I’ll get a job overseas, a chance to experience a new country, culture and people.

Maybe I’d finally get rid of my braces (Goddamnit!) !!

2009 is a make-it-or-break-it year for me.  And by hook or crook I better make it!

There’s one thing I know for sure that will happen.  And that is me moving into my new home in Yishun!  For those who know where I used to live in Yishun, my parents bought a unit at the block just right in front of our old block.  What a joke eh?

I finally get to have my own room again.  I hope to add in a new television, LCD of course. :)  Maybe I’d get a Wii to complete my entertainment needs.  But I rather get that as a birthday present…. HINT!

And maybe, just maybe, you guys would finally come over my place and stay till the wee morning playing mahjong etc!!!  Serangoon is too goddamn far for me!

Ok I’m off to play a game now.  I rock!

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.      

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you. 
                                       
You look at your job ... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.                 

One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. 

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot don't seem as fun. 

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. 

We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out !! 

- Thanks to Eve's forwarded email :)

By 25th April, my department will be moved to another section in the office. And I hate, HATE where I would be sitting at.

Right now I'm sitting at the end of a row of desks with a wall at my right.  People hardly walk here so I have all the privacy and no disturbance.

My new place will also be at a corner, BUT it will be the first table at a row of desks and my back facing a big space where people can be walking about! URGH!  It's so open!!!

It means less blogging, surfing random websites, watching movie trailers on quicktime... Basically less everything and more work!

I'm so SADDDDDD~~!!!

Today I'm 26 le!!!! Wallan!

Thanks you guys for the birthday greetings :)  I don't know why I'm surprised to get any greetings at all.  Hmm, something's wrong with me.

I really can't believe I'm 26.  I remembered when I was 18 and 21 like it was only last year.  Now I have to tick the check box that indicates "26 - 30"  or something like that.

Fucking for more years and I'll be 30.  FOUR YEARS!!!!  This can't be happening!

But you know what, I don't feel like I'm 26.  More so, I don't feel old.  I still feel hyper and excited about anything and everything like as if I am still a teenager, only with more wisdom.  Heh.

I hope I don't look 26.  I'm trying to defy ageing.

I should turn to botox.

I don't know why I stopped blogging... Wait.  I think I remember.  The time I stopped was the time I started getting jobs and ever since then, I didn't even have the time to check my emails and sometimes chat online.

Recently I've been so stressed up at work and ever since Dongli switch to a new role in MTV, he's clocking 12 - 14 hours of work.  Hopefully this is just for the beginning since he's still in the learning stage.

Anyway guys, if we can't go on a hoilday before Linus leaves for Belgium, let's do a chalet and BBQ eh?  Grilled food and sleepovers always turns me on :)